LL PT. 2 - inbox

[vapour]

87%

7:20 PM

19:20

nightfall ops

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[gottalearntoplayitright]

It's not that...

[vapour]

What's wrong, then?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Grinds against Sam's lap experimentally]

[vapour]

[ ears perk up along with his dick... probably, anyway, if it can perk up more than it already has been. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

So it's not that you're no longer interested then?

[vapour]

It's not, but why would I be no longer interested?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

It sounded like you wanted to go to bed.

[vapour]

Oh, that.

[ . . .
. . .
. . . ]

Although I'm pretty sure you aren't offering me sex out of pity after your response, I'm not sure if I wanna have sex with anyone while my ears and tails are visible. They're sensitive and even moreso while I'm aroused, haha, and also nottomentiontoohonest. So I probably should avoid it unless you're all in with me. I already let you fuck me, and I don't regret it at all, but that's also something I don't let just anyone do. [ unless he has to for a job but that doesn't count at all. ]

I am thinking, wow, if I'm not careful I might be in real trouble around you! I can't risk getting more attached to you than you are to me, and it's kind of already that way so I absolutely can't make it worse, you know?

So I figured I should blue ball myself for a few hours, and if you really did want to have sex I could make it up to you after. That also gave you a natural out if you didn't really wanna do it.

[ or something like that. his tails cuddle around Jewel a little more. and his heart is beating really fast, but otherwise the word vomit explanation seems maybe too much approaching 4D chess to be made up. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Settles back down, resting his head on Sam's chest]

If you're not feeling it, that's fine. You don't have to make it up to me or anything. More than anything, I want you to feel comfortable.

[vapour]

[ Sam sighs a little at that. ]

Listen, don't get me wrong... I want to go all in with you, but I can't because you're not all in with me. I don't have much left to protect of myself here. But, if you think it's anything you did that's making me uncomfortable, definitely stop thinking it, okay? That's not it at all. You make me so comfortable, more than anyone else ever has and ever will.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Folds his arms to pillow his head, looking over Sam's face]

[vapour]

Sorry, that's probably awkward to hear even though I just want you comfortable, too. That's no good...

[ Sam is just really sleep deprived or he probably wouldn't be rambling like this but his heart beat is slowing down and has been with Jewel's reply. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Nn....it's not awkward at all. And it's fair...to want to protect a part of yourself. I'm not exactly....mmm.

[vapour]

Not exactly what?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Well. I have a non small number of entanglements. So I get it.

[vapour]

[ he doesn't really know what that means but even tired he knows that's Jewel's specific way of careful edging around. ]

Even if you didn't get it... it's okay just so long as I haven't made you feel somehow you're lesser to me. Some things I can't do without at least an intent in equal exchange, but that doesn't mean I think any less of you or are less interested.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I don't feel lesser.

[vapour]

[ tucks some strands of Jewel's hair behind his ear. ]

Okay, I'm relieved to hear it.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Were you worried?

[vapour]

I'm always worried about miscommunication between us, whether unspoken or wrongly taken. Afterall, we're both extreme kinda people.

I guess I don't trust either of us not light the fire and watch everything burn if we get the wrong ideas concerning each other. I mean, you can survive that bridge burning, but still.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

And you couldn't...?

[vapour]

[ shakes his head slowly. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

You could, I'm sure of it. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And I'm barely a blip on your timeline.

[vapour]

And yet you're the person I've spent the most time with because I have no past to recall. I can't lose it. Not you. Do you really think I would promise just anyone to hang around in limbo just to make sure they aren't alone no matter what until they don't need me anymore?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I'm greedy. You'll have to forgive me for that, I'm sorry.