LL PT. 2 - inbox

[vapour]

87%

7:20 PM

19:20

nightfall ops

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[vapour]

[ tucks some strands of Jewel's hair behind his ear. ]

Okay, I'm relieved to hear it.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Were you worried?

[vapour]

I'm always worried about miscommunication between us, whether unspoken or wrongly taken. Afterall, we're both extreme kinda people.

I guess I don't trust either of us not light the fire and watch everything burn if we get the wrong ideas concerning each other. I mean, you can survive that bridge burning, but still.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

And you couldn't...?

[vapour]

[ shakes his head slowly. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

You could, I'm sure of it. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And I'm barely a blip on your timeline.

[vapour]

And yet you're the person I've spent the most time with because I have no past to recall. I can't lose it. Not you. Do you really think I would promise just anyone to hang around in limbo just to make sure they aren't alone no matter what until they don't need me anymore?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I'm greedy. You'll have to forgive me for that, I'm sorry.

[vapour]

So am I. Greed isn't necessarily a sin in my book, even if it almost always leads to unhappiness because nothing is ever enough. But if your greed can be sated and it's attainable, why should you be denied?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Because what about you?

[vapour]

What about me?

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Your needs matter too.

[vapour]

Is that really it, though, when I'm saying take all of me, I just want all of you in return?

I don't think so.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

…I’m sorry. I know I’m not…

[vapour]

...You're not what?

Also... it's nothing to be sorry for. How you feel is how you feel, the same as me.

Still, I'm not gonna let you lie to yourself on top of everything else you are trying to navigate.

[ rubbing circles on his back as the tails trace idle random shapes. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

…All of me, huh?

[vapour]

[ nods. ]

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I don’t get easier to deal with.

[vapour]

I look forward to a potential chance to be able to learn that first hand.

But, Shadi... you need to get it through your head that the only people who are worth your time are going to take all of you and love and care for you when you're at your low the same as they do at your high. I'm worried you're going to do yourself a disservice by thinking you deserve less.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

You don’t have to worry, I promise. No one I am close to is that shallow in their affection.

[vapour]

Oh~? Then, is there someone you're considering to say that? That's a very high level affection across the board.

You should talk to them, if so. I know you're afraid of talking it out or rejection and whatnot, but if their affections are enough for you to be able to say that to me, I would say that it's safe to assume nothing will change with you talking it out with them even if they aren't on board ultimately.

You have an opportunity where you technically having nothing precious to you that you could lose and can gain something life changing.

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I just meant my friends in general. I probably wouldn't date anyone I wasn't friends with first.

[vapour]

The affection of your friends in general?

Damn, that's impressive ...

[gottalearntoplayitright]

To be fair, I don't have many friends.

[vapour]

What's your definition of "many?"