(no subject)

[vapour]

87%

9:42 PM

21:42 ! (1) NEW MESSAGE FROM ? ? ?

Comments

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

...I suppose I haven't really thought about it much? I assume the same as most people? An attraction to someone...I won't say physical attraction doesn't matter, but that tends to be a backseat for me considering I'm surrounded by tens. So...someone who's personality I find magnetic or who I find myself wanting to know more about or wanting to be around more or feel comfortable with? Something like that. Someone special.

1/2

[vapour]

[ stares at him quietly. ]

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Yeah, sure, then. But I still don't your want your pity. Waste your time on someone else with that, you got plenty of people that would appreciate it. For me, this sort of thing is par the course. I want and expect things to go this way.

You can feel bad for me the day someone returns that interest, if you insist. That's when it's going to be problematic for me.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Pauses mid sip, arching an eyebrow and setting his drink down]

Why would it be a problem? Don't you want them to like you back?

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Oh sure, a part of me does. But overall, no.

[ he tips his glass around to let the ice clink like heavy punctuations, but he'll set it down in exchange for a new drink once he gets it and take that one instead. ]

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Frowns into his glass, sipping his drink for a moment and turning that over for a moment before finally caving and just asking]

...why not?

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

[ a soft drawn out hum, taking a sip of his drink. ]

Do you want the altruistic version or the selfish version?

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Well, the truth is usually somewhere in the middle...right? How about that version?

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Because whatever they like is definitely a lie, and that lie they think will make them happy is just them confusing their natural desire to want to care for helpless and broken things. Their kindness is working against them. I don't want connections of people worrying about me and feeling bad for me, I just want something normal. I don't care if it's considered tone deaf, I'm so tired of seeing people look at me with this sadness like I'm so unfortunate for my lots in life. If the person is special enough for me to want their feelings, I want better for them.

That's why I don't want your pity for this. This person deserves and is getting better, there's no need to feel sorry for me.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way… Wanting better for them. And not wanting to be pitied. All right, fair enough.

[Goes back to sipping his drink]

In that case, a new topic is in order.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Your turn.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

For a topic?

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Sure, if you don't want to talk about your overthinking about yourself you mentioned earlier.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I doubt you really want to sit here and listen to me complain about myself.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Did you want to sit and hear me talk about what we just did?

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

....fine, but tell me if you want me to stop talking about it at any point.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Okay.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

I've just been thinking...about what changes I need to make so that, if there ever was a next time, I wouldn't want to opt to...you know....not put my heart back in.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

And those are...?

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

Apparently I take on too much stress. And, shock of the century, it winds up stressing me out.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

Oh, yeah, that's very surprising.

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

[Reaches out to pinch his side gently]

You could at least try to look surprised.

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

[ jumps a little, hey now, he's kinda ticklish/sensitive! ] Ah, wow— [ he looks surprised by that before he can't help but laugh a bit. ] I'm very surprised, you know, what does it matter how I look about it!

Re: 241 Late Night

[gottalearntoplayitright]

If you're going to say you're surprised, that face should at least match the words!

[Reaches out for another pinch]

Re: 241 Late Night

[vapour]

This is absolutely my surprised face, I'll have you know!

[ playfully swats away. ]