vapour | LL PT. 2

In the future please tell me about bug injuries like that, okay?

Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but how come?

[ if it wasn't for Sam's completely innocent tone like he's a kid asking why he can't go off on his own before learning about stranger danger, this could come off defensive or otherwise challenging, but he is definitely simply confused and surprised why anyone would want to know about it.

[*big]]

Because I want to know what’s happening to you. Because I care. So I can make sure to not accidentally injure you more and so I can understand what you’ve been going through better.

[ can almost see his dumb ecpression. ]

Wait... wait...How are you going to injure me more?

Like if I went to hug you too hard or something and you hadn’t gotten it healed.

[ okay sorry he's laughing. ]

Oh?! Have I been upgraded into the spontaneous-aggressive hugs club, you say?

I could have given you one had you not moved without telling me your forwarding address.

Ahaha, sorry. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. I didn't even get to tell anyone in Cirrus until I saw them... I also didn't mean to run off so fast on you without coming back. I was and am really really glad you're okay and I wanted you to see at least you didn't have to worry about me having went through what Cirrus did since I hadn't told you, yet.

You could have just said that. Was it the lack of shirt...? It was the lack of shirt.

Edited 2025-06-06 00:56 (UTC)

I admit that was very distracting! Really enjoyed the view.

Edited 2025-06-06 01:27 (UTC)

[ voice is quietly solemn now. ]

...Just didn't want to directly alert you that something bad must have happened to Cirrus while trying to reassure you that I was one less to worry about also being like that for when you did find out. That's tough to see for anyone, especially people you like, and I know at least one person on there is personally important to you. I've seen worse done to corpses, but ... [ long sigh ] that's still up there even when done to strangers and you've been conditioned to see such things.

I needed to step back for a minute and couldn't be there if you got overwhelmed. Sorry. I was trying not hit you with that trauma blindsided.

...you don't need to apologize. I'm just glad you're all right.

I know you'll be upset if something happens to me, and I don't want that. I know others will be, too, but even if they weren't, knowing you would be is enough for me to not want to be the cause of that.

...But, between you and me... I still feel like this time I abandoned them.

[ Thankfully they're all alive because no one can die, but as someone who has immense survivor's guilt, the idea bothers him. ]

Edited 2025-06-06 03:07 (UTC)

Hey now...You didn't abandon them. You made the swap before the performance. And there is no way you could have known.

I know. But, I also hit the button. And... even if I knew it was Cirrus that would get punished, I wouldn't have hesitated because I had been so sure, at least, Cirrus and Siren's would absolutely push their buttons, too, out of everyone.

Except... I was wrong.

[ the way he says it has that unspoken: again. ]

Mm…I thought Cirrus would push theirs for sure too… I was counting on it actually.

... I guess I'm also mad at myself for being so confident in what they would do that I let what actually happened blindside me.

I should know better than anyone by now how this works.

But, anyway, it's not really fair of me to discuss their affairs like I have a right to their business, anymore, either. Sorry.

You can still care about them even if you swapped families. I know Siren's would still care for me even if I swapped and vice versa. I mean...I still care about Forge and Forge still cares about me.

I know. It's just their decisions are still their own now, I have to respect them like I have to respect Siren's going too hard and Sun Sign's continuous compassion. I guess I was silly and was hoping it wouldn't be a problem because I would agree with their choices, anyway.

All you can really do is your best and take what comfort you can in knowing you tried.

Hm... yeah. You're right.

Try not to be too hard on yourself about it? Easier said than done, I know.

Ah, no... I'm okay. I won't be hard on myself about it. It's not as if I could do it all over again I would have done anything different.

It's just I don't much like the feeling in my chest.

Anything I can do to help with that feeling?

Hmm... well, when you're finished up, maybe you can come distract me a bit?

Edited 2025-06-07 01:12 (UTC)

LL PT. 2 - inbox

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