vapour | LL PT. 2

...you don't need to apologize. I'm just glad you're all right.

I know you'll be upset if something happens to me, and I don't want that. I know others will be, too, but even if they weren't, knowing you would be is enough for me to not want to be the cause of that.

...But, between you and me... I still feel like this time I abandoned them.

[ Thankfully they're all alive because no one can die, but as someone who has immense survivor's guilt, the idea bothers him. ]

Edited 2025-06-06 03:07 (UTC)

Hey now...You didn't abandon them. You made the swap before the performance. And there is no way you could have known.

I know. But, I also hit the button. And... even if I knew it was Cirrus that would get punished, I wouldn't have hesitated because I had been so sure, at least, Cirrus and Siren's would absolutely push their buttons, too, out of everyone.

Except... I was wrong.

[ the way he says it has that unspoken: again. ]

Mm…I thought Cirrus would push theirs for sure too… I was counting on it actually.

... I guess I'm also mad at myself for being so confident in what they would do that I let what actually happened blindside me.

I should know better than anyone by now how this works.

But, anyway, it's not really fair of me to discuss their affairs like I have a right to their business, anymore, either. Sorry.

You can still care about them even if you swapped families. I know Siren's would still care for me even if I swapped and vice versa. I mean...I still care about Forge and Forge still cares about me.

I know. It's just their decisions are still their own now, I have to respect them like I have to respect Siren's going too hard and Sun Sign's continuous compassion. I guess I was silly and was hoping it wouldn't be a problem because I would agree with their choices, anyway.

All you can really do is your best and take what comfort you can in knowing you tried.

Hm... yeah. You're right.

Try not to be too hard on yourself about it? Easier said than done, I know.

Ah, no... I'm okay. I won't be hard on myself about it. It's not as if I could do it all over again I would have done anything different.

It's just I don't much like the feeling in my chest.