(no subject)

[vapour]

87%

9:42 PM

21:42 ! (1) NEW MESSAGE FROM ? ? ?

Comments

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

I was worried you would avoid me after that, especially if you were repulsed, but I am glad my worries were unfounded.

[ He puts a chocolate on a brown for himself so he can eat them together, too. ]

Has it really? I did practice a few batches with the other Arias beforehand, though I still need to follow recipes closely to achieve good results rather than having a baker's instinct yet.

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

Ahh, please don't ever worry about that. I can't think of much you could do that would repulse me.

And even if you did, I would never hold it against you when you aren't to blame for it. These performances are what they are and I refuse to let them damage the few relationships I've been lucky enough to snag.


As for being, yeah, that's kind of the beauty about it. You can improve really fast by telling care to mind small things. You don't need Baker's Intuition, either, although I admit it's a pretty envious skill ...

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

[ He stares down at his hands for a moment, wanting to pick at the seam of his gloves. ]

Not even if I did something truly heinous like remove a person's agency...? Would that be a step too far?

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

[ tilts his head a moment before shaking it. ] There's no exception to the rule there even for that. You're just as much a victim in these situations even if it often doesn't feel that way. I don't mean to make light of it, because that's no better, but you need to understand when it's really you and when it isn't. I'm a bit of a hypocrite, though, so...

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

It was not something I did on this ship nor in this lifetime, but I do not believe my past self was kind. I know I should not allow his actions to weigh so heavily on me, but they do.

Have you peaked much into your own visions?

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

Ah... In that case, even moreso.

Yeah, I have. And I can safely say mine was not kind, either. His actions bother me, too. It's probably a good thing that both of us are troubled, but ... it's not fun.

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

It is not, and while have the opportunity to do better in this lifetime, I still wonder what separates us from who we used to be. What if we are doomed to repeat the same actions against those we care for?

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

Mm... do you understand why he did the things he did or not yet?

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

I do not. I wish I did. Seeing it all out of context makes it seem more like he wanted to become a god to rule over everything...Absolutely control.

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

Until then, I don't think it's fair to yourself to worry about repeating his mistakes.

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

What was the worst your other self did, if you do not mind sharing?

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

Well, he's murdered a lot of people, but...

I'm going to go with— at least from what I've seen— trying to drown an entire harbor city by unsealing an evil god in order to draw out the god protecting said city. He didn't succeed, and he didn't "want" to do it, exactly, but he still went and did it because he felt that was the only way to get what he wanted.

He usually has a code of honor, but if it's between honor and failing his queen... eh...

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

So we both have a lot to feel regretful about in our past lives, but I do not think you are a bad person at all in this lifetime. You are one of the kindest people I have met on this voyage.

I hope we can overcome the sins of the past...though I do wonder if this trip is meant to be a form of penance.

Re: day 248;

[vapour]

I don't know if this makes it better or worse, but I've been told that one of the producers has insisted that the visions are not of a past life. So no, I don't think it's a form of penance. Especially since apparently the Showmaster isn't the one giving us these visions. I just don't know what the point of giving them to us is, either.

Re: day 248;

[regulate]

I do not trust anything any of them say any longer except for perhaps Miss Nana, and even then...The visions feel too visceral for them to simply be fabrications, and it was not until I witnessed a few of them already that my halo appeared.