You can call on me if you want, whenever you like. That's not going to change.
I know it will feel awkward, but like this, I won't expect more from you when you'd rather give it to anyone else. And I'll stop being so dependent. But I'll be there for you when you're ready, too.
Just please... don't feel like you're deserving of hate or that you did something terrible that you deserve to be hated for.
You're a beautiful person, my Little Fox. Just a little unhinged and adorable, and so thoughtful when it comes down to it. I know you'll find whatever you're looking for to satisfy yourself, with or without me.
I'll always believe in your ability to have your true amazing and kind self shine through the hurt and fear you armor yourself with. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't love you on knowing you.
Some people really don't realize the real treasure they have on hand when they do. But they surely will in time, just as I did.
[ today and the last twelve days are exactly why are the way you. you're trying so hard to protect yourself you hurt everyone that gives half a shit. And then you whine about them leaving you.
Everyone leaves you, Sam.
Because you make them.
how did I actually destroy the only two longest relationships I've had that didnt start out as convenience and I took an instant liking to in less than 24 hour?
Oh yeah
goddamn skill issue, Sam
I hate it I hate this. I hate them I hate myself. I hate hate hate hate hate hatehatehateevery person because if it's not hate it has to be love because that's the lll only other emotion close enough and I can't can't can't especially after ruining suddenly decide I love them instead—
I am begging you, self, just pick someone anyone to blame that's not us. Just for a little while, anyone is FINE just separate it from it. ]
[ taking that memory was a bad idea while like this. But at least, he assures himself as he stares up coldly at the ceiling, he finally figured the real person to blame for this. ]
...Vera, the least you could have done after everything was make sure that you pulled the trigger on me the same way you did on yourself instead of only killing one of us, you selfish—
[ he doesn't feel good, he's going to be sick. whatever he knows how to deal with it and that's exactly what he'll roll off his bed to go and do. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That's not going to change.
I know it will feel awkward, but like this, I won't expect more from you when you'd rather give it to anyone else. And I'll stop being so dependent. But I'll be there for you when you're ready, too.
Just please... don't feel like you're deserving of hate or that you did something terrible that you deserve to be hated for.
You're a beautiful person, my Little Fox. Just a little unhinged and adorable, and so thoughtful when it comes down to it. I know you'll find whatever you're looking for to satisfy yourself, with or without me.
I'll always believe in your ability to have your true amazing and kind self shine through the hurt and fear you armor yourself with. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't love you on knowing you.
Some people really don't realize the real treasure they have on hand when they do. But they surely will in time, just as I did.
Good night, Sam. I'll catch you around.
Don't be a stranger.
8
no subject
no subject
9
Everyone leaves you, Sam.
Because you make them.
how did I actually destroy the only two longest relationships I've had that didnt start out as convenience and I took an instant liking to in less than 24 hour?
Oh yeah
goddamn skill issue, Sam
I hate it I hate this. I hate them I hate myself. I hate hate hate hate hate hatehatehateevery person because if it's not hate it has to be love because that's the lll only other emotion close enough and I can't can't can't especially after ruining suddenly decide I love them instead—
I am begging you, self, just pick someone anyone to blame that's not us. Just for a little while, anyone is FINE just separate it from it. ]
10
...Vera, the least you could have done after everything was make sure that you pulled the trigger on me the same way you did on yourself instead of only killing one of us, you selfish—
[ he doesn't feel good, he's going to be sick. whatever he knows how to deal with it and that's exactly what he'll roll off his bed to go and do. ]