[ today and the last twelve days are exactly why are the way you. you're trying so hard to protect yourself you hurt everyone that gives half a shit. And then you whine about them leaving you.

Everyone leaves you, Sam.

Because you make them.

how did I actually destroy the only two longest relationships I've had that didnt start out as convenience and I took an instant liking to in less than 24 hour?

Oh yeah

goddamn skill issue, Sam

I hate it I hate this. I hate them I hate myself. I hate hate hate hate hate hatehatehateevery person because if it's not hate it has to be love because that's the lll only other emotion close enough and I can't can't can't especially after ruining suddenly decide I love them instead—

I am begging you, self, just pick someone anyone to blame that's not us. Just for a little while, anyone is FINE just separate it from it. ]