[ sighs softly. ]

This just keeps getting worse. I really wanted to believe at least a little good could come out of all this somehow for everyone involved even if we all have to suffer. But that's not the case, at least not for me so far. I want to go home. [ he just wants to go back to living alone and not worrying other people or worrying about other people or trying to make friends or be normal or going out of his way to help others through this shit, anymore. ]

That is really selfish of me, but ...