The feelings of uncertainty drip off of him in response, even as he sinks further into the attempted comfort Zhongli provides. In his right mind he should be stunned that Zhongli is offering any of this and going further still, but perhaps that just reaffirms —if the tears have not, already— that he is in an incredibly unstable and vulnerable state of mind. Despite everything, the discord has indeed taken its toll and left things fragile. It's not permanent, no, Childe is too resilient to let it stay this way going forward and Zhongli has made that all possible, but in the immediate interim the discord has provoked fears that have been long ignored as he hardened his mind against such a concept. Death wasn't scary. Killing others wasn't scary. Fighting monsters wasn't scary. Becoming a monster somewhere down the line wasn't scary— afterall, wasn't he more than enough a monster in what he'd done and what he would continue to do? The physical aspect was merely a finishing touch.
Yet the discord has temporarily stripped him of all of that intrinsically-crafted armor, the years of commitment to hardening his heart against his own misfortunes.
"I'm not allowed to want to stay with you." he wants to, though. The boy wants and wants, pressing closer against the only anchor there.
I'm not allowed... but I want to, anyway... so I will." ]
no subject
The feelings of uncertainty drip off of him in response, even as he sinks further into the attempted comfort Zhongli provides. In his right mind he should be stunned that Zhongli is offering any of this and going further still, but perhaps that just reaffirms —if the tears have not, already— that he is in an incredibly unstable and vulnerable state of mind. Despite everything, the discord has indeed taken its toll and left things fragile. It's not permanent, no, Childe is too resilient to let it stay this way going forward and Zhongli has made that all possible, but in the immediate interim the discord has provoked fears that have been long ignored as he hardened his mind against such a concept. Death wasn't scary. Killing others wasn't scary. Fighting monsters wasn't scary. Becoming a monster somewhere down the line wasn't scary— afterall, wasn't he more than enough a monster in what he'd done and what he would continue to do? The physical aspect was merely a finishing touch.
Yet the discord has temporarily stripped him of all of that intrinsically-crafted armor, the years of commitment to hardening his heart against his own misfortunes.
"I'm not allowed to want to stay with you." he wants to, though. The boy wants and wants, pressing closer against the only anchor there.
I'm not allowed... but I want to, anyway... so I will." ]